Our sanity is directly related to the amount of people we try to please.

……..Assuming that perception is truly reality (this is a whole other thought process…someday)……..

Is who you are is not determined by your perception?

If you are perceived in a certain way by others is that not who you become? Your ego does not reflect who you are, it just protects you from other’s perception.

No matter reality, the way you are perceived is who you truly are; the words you say, the motions you make and the way you put them together.

Our mistakes do not define us, they just help us become who we are.

final draft- research paper- women in science

Just over 19 years ago we lost our Mother. Despite her trials she raised 2 pretty alright men. It is still hard to embrace the thought, at life events, that she is not here to share with us. Daughter’s graduation, successes at work, sobriety,weddings, holidays and so on. With that, we are blessed to have such a love for others and them us. We are able to share in these moments and remember the love and nuturing we received from Her, making these bitter sweet moments just a little sweeter. Thanks Mom for all that you did for your lucky boys!

Wealth or stature makes no greater a Man. For it is acts of empathy and kindness to all, that this is defined.

I believe in my right to bear arms, but gun control is necessary.
I believe that abortion is bad, but the right to choose is not mine.
I believe that faith is good, all of it, whether mine or not.
I am not gay, yet do not believe that my rights are any different than those that are.
I refuse to be classified as liberal or conservative.
I refuse to be put in the right the left, red, blue, Democrat or Republican.
These are all devices designed to keep our United States at odds with beliefs, opinions, feelings. Personal things that our ours as individuals, to be shared, not argued. There is always common ground, a grey area we can live with. Results are what we need, we can get there by sharing our feeling, beliefs, opinions. Finding a common ground that can be collaborated.

There is so much about our youth that you do not know. What matters is that you understand what it did for you.

You are truly the reason we learned to love. A love that we believe only a Parent can know for their Daughter. A love that a Parent is supposed to know.

We have spent the best years of our life protecting you from the pain that we endured. We have dedicated our love for you to making sure you know who you are.

Here you are, moving to the next step of your life, happy, proud, strong and beautiful. Thank you for showing us that we deserve you.

We are confident that you and Garrett will experience the love that we have. Please enjoy the time you have and always know that we will love you, the way only a Parent loves their Daughter.

Love always, Mom and Dad

The beauty of parenting is perfection is not attainable. The ugly part is that the imperfections can be irreparable. Having mostly grown children with a stay at home wife/mother we have been able to fill the gaps. Our kids are well rounded and goal oriented, some goals are not what we wish for, but goals nonetheless. Our children did not get a free ride while not lacking. Point is; do the best you can to mitigate the damage. Use the tools you have, develop the tools you don’t have, you are a parent. Parenting is about nurturing your relationship, as spouses or otherwise, filling the parental gaps that all of us have. The key to us is knowing our faults and shortcomings, working together to fill the gaps.

We send people to prison who need help. Normal people that have a problem, we throw in prison. We only have 5% of the world’s population while a whopping 25% of the world’s prisoners. We are quick to incarcerate. We jail drug addicts, we sentence 16 year olds as adults. Alcoholics go to prison. Underprivileged turn to crime because they lack the skills to get a job. We are spending between 30K-60K per year per inmate. We are allowing drug companies to inundate our society with medications that our children steal and then get addicted to, turning to criminals and drug dealers to feed the addiction. Mentally disabled? You too can get tossed in the slammer.

Why do we not spend that money up front, educate, drug rehabilitation, counseling and medication for treatable mental disabilities.

When I was 16 I got busted for crimes that could’ve landed me to 40 years of prison time. I had been commiting crime and doing drugs for only a couple of years before that, with prior convictions. The local judge did not want me to go to trial, he knew I would end up in prison. This judge deferred my arraignment based on counseling and community service. The appointed counselor helped me start understand my issues and helped me begin to work on them. He worked with the victims, that I violated, to assign my community service, to them. I was devastated, then lifted once I realized that they were all willing to help me. Through love and understanding, it helped. I still had a hard road to tow, I still used drugs. I stopped criminal activities, worked legitimate jobs and eventually became a productive member of society. All of this and I bet for less than the cost of 1 year in prison.

Why would we save a few thousand dollars on the front end only to spend 10’s of thousands on the tail end. We must find a way to educate and rehabilitate rather than incarcerate. Through education and affordable programs this can be changed. Let’s stop turning petty crimes into hardened criminals.